Hi Simon. Given my own experience, I find the traditional image of the clueless man, just going about his business and not paying attention to the pain his spouse is going through or the effect it's having on his life. My experience was the opposite. I tried so hard to break through. I gave up so much of my life to support her and all the things she wanted to do while she closed herself off to our marriage and our partnership. She treated me so poorly; even her own family asked me when I was going to get out. It wasn't until I made every sacrifice; I tried everything I could, that she finally made the last push and told me that she could never love me. I finally realized that our marriage was irreparable. We've been able to maintain our friendship. But I've had to go to lots of therapy to get over the anger and the abuse.
Chris. I totally agree that society has built a stereotype of the hapless man. That said the research does support the idea that some men are taken by surprise. What surprised me was the high percentage of men who stated children were their reason for staying, which definitely breaks the mold of the stereotype.
I think there needs to be a lot more work done looking at why people stay than just why they leave.
Hi Simon. Given my own experience, I find the traditional image of the clueless man, just going about his business and not paying attention to the pain his spouse is going through or the effect it's having on his life. My experience was the opposite. I tried so hard to break through. I gave up so much of my life to support her and all the things she wanted to do while she closed herself off to our marriage and our partnership. She treated me so poorly; even her own family asked me when I was going to get out. It wasn't until I made every sacrifice; I tried everything I could, that she finally made the last push and told me that she could never love me. I finally realized that our marriage was irreparable. We've been able to maintain our friendship. But I've had to go to lots of therapy to get over the anger and the abuse.
Chris. I totally agree that society has built a stereotype of the hapless man. That said the research does support the idea that some men are taken by surprise. What surprised me was the high percentage of men who stated children were their reason for staying, which definitely breaks the mold of the stereotype.
I think there needs to be a lot more work done looking at why people stay than just why they leave.