One line especially: "The difference is I'm less likely to believe those stories."
I'm not going through menopause, but I know exactly what it's like to fill in the blanks when something feels uncertain. Our brains are incredibly good at creating a story that explains what's happening, and once that story takes hold, it's amazing how much evidence we can find to support it.
What struck me is that you didn't just describe what happened. You described the moment you realized you were looking through a lens instead of looking at reality. That's a difficult thing for any of us to admit.
Thanks for writing this. I think a lot of people, regardless of the reason for the uncertainty, will recognize themselves in it.
Simon, this may be one of my favorite pieces that I've ever read of yours. It is so real and so honest. I think that many of us have succumbed to the temptation to fill in imaginary blanks or make stories up in our heads to explain shifts in a relationship when we aren't quite sure how (or are too scared) to simply have the conversation. This piece is both a reminder that that can be a dangerous path to follow and, at the same time, one that is very human. Thank you for being so vulnerable and for sharing this with us all.
I knew she was changing over the last couple years. Everyone but her saw it but her. She was in denial. She has blamed her job, coworkers, and everyone including me for her stress. She was playing her games while venting about how crappy they were. I would be yelled at for not doing anything to help her get over it. Or criticized for doing things out of order. Just no pleasing. It is hard to take it all in every five minutes of the rants. You cannot correct her for being wrong. Drinking and repeating the same lines takes its toll
I'm not sure if this will help, but I put together a free guide of resources for the various stages of the journey couples go through. There might be something of help in it for you - https://connectedmenopause.carrd.co/
Great piece. Thanks for leading Simon.
Thank you Marc. I appreciate the support.
Simon, this really resonated with me.
One line especially: "The difference is I'm less likely to believe those stories."
I'm not going through menopause, but I know exactly what it's like to fill in the blanks when something feels uncertain. Our brains are incredibly good at creating a story that explains what's happening, and once that story takes hold, it's amazing how much evidence we can find to support it.
What struck me is that you didn't just describe what happened. You described the moment you realized you were looking through a lens instead of looking at reality. That's a difficult thing for any of us to admit.
Thanks for writing this. I think a lot of people, regardless of the reason for the uncertainty, will recognize themselves in it.
Thank you so much for reading it. Yes it did make a lot of difference noticing it.
Simon, this may be one of my favorite pieces that I've ever read of yours. It is so real and so honest. I think that many of us have succumbed to the temptation to fill in imaginary blanks or make stories up in our heads to explain shifts in a relationship when we aren't quite sure how (or are too scared) to simply have the conversation. This piece is both a reminder that that can be a dangerous path to follow and, at the same time, one that is very human. Thank you for being so vulnerable and for sharing this with us all.
Laurie. Thank you so much.
I love this article Simon and am so grateful you wrote it. Thank you!
I knew she was changing over the last couple years. Everyone but her saw it but her. She was in denial. She has blamed her job, coworkers, and everyone including me for her stress. She was playing her games while venting about how crappy they were. I would be yelled at for not doing anything to help her get over it. Or criticized for doing things out of order. Just no pleasing. It is hard to take it all in every five minutes of the rants. You cannot correct her for being wrong. Drinking and repeating the same lines takes its toll
I'm not sure if this will help, but I put together a free guide of resources for the various stages of the journey couples go through. There might be something of help in it for you - https://connectedmenopause.carrd.co/
Tony, I'm so sorry this has been your experience.
I do my best to help her